In response to the data about men committing violent acts – including domestic abuse and sexual abuse – far more than women one interesting thought is that it’s almost certainly rooted in childhood. Boys are more likely to be beaten at school than girls, and parents are far more likely to encourage fights between boys. Think about it: if one of your earliest experiences is being told to punch that kid who insulted you, it’s no great leap to imagine you’d reach adulthood thinking violence was the right response to, well, everything. And since our culture loves to reward aggression—in the boardroom, on the sports field, in the military—it’s easy to see why unlearning that lesson might be next to impossible.
Although these environmental factors probably play a role in male violence it is not the whole story. The reality is that males are born with higher levels of testosterone than females. This hormone defines one of the biological distinction of maleness and is responsible for aggression and risk taking. From an evolutionary standpoint, male aggression has produced successful hunters and protectors of the community and has been genetically passed on through natural selection. Even though hunting and protecting with violence are not nearly as important in our modern world does not mean that the testosterone has disappeared. The issue for men is to figure out how to channel their natural aggression in ways that are socially and morally acceptable by today’s standards. Using the paradigm of the archetypes of masculinity we can gain insights about understanding aggression. The warrior archetype is a man’s aggressive nature. The warrior can operate either in the shadow or the light. The shadow is being violent, except if it is in pure self defense. The warrior in the light is assertive. Being assertive is the non-violent method to seek control of a situation and to protect what is important for the well being of our partners and families. It is imperative that we teach our young men -especially those in early adolescence when the testosterone starts flowing – how to manage their aggressive impulses through assertive non-violent means.