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Emotional Restraint
An issue that often comes up about men is how do they handle their emotions. A recent story on MSN about the characteristics of manliness mentions emotional restraint as an example. However, in their explanation they equate restraint with stuffing or t denial of an emotional life. This is an outdated stereotype about men in…
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Aspirational Masculinity
A new way of talking to boys about being boys is being promoted as aspirational masculinity. The idea is that we need to talk to boys about their gender without focusing on the negative qualities that men have been associated with – toxic masculinity and the rigid man code. According to former professional football player Don…
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Fantasy Sports
The author of the article on the attraction of a fantasy sports league answered his own question, “Why was I there? The straightforward answer is because my friends were, and I wanted to be with them. The actual draft was secondary to the event’s social function — an excuse to stay in touch, which has…
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Incidental Masculinity
I came across the phrase “incidental masculinity” in a true story about the attraction to a man from a gay women. She was breaking up with a girlfriend and simultaneously developing a platonic love for a man she met while performing in a college play. What intrigued me was that despite her sexual attraction to…
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Gender Neutrality Run Amok
Featured on Sunday’s front page of the New York Times is an article describing the gender neutral policies being followed by pre-schools in Sweden. Even though we don’t live in Sweden the extreme practices mandated reflect the growing ideology that equates gender equality with gender neutrality. The logic seems to be that the only…
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Disconnect
The news cycle is dominated by stories of bad behavior by men. The “Me -Too” movement has exposed countless examples of sexual abuse and harassment by men especially by men in powerful positions. It has galvanized women to become more involved in politics and to add new energy to gender equality issues – equal pay,…
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Me Too Backlash?
Recently a Meet Up invitation arrived in my mailbox with just one word as a descriptor – Fight Club. Intrigued, I wondered if this was just a direct reference to the 1999 movie Fight Club or was this a symbolic invitation to join the hyper masculine “manosphere.” After further research I came across…
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Why It’s OK To Be A Man
In Robert Bly’s “Iron John” he speaks to the issue of a man going through the ashes before he can emerge as a fully developed man. Joseph Campbell wrote, “It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” A similar viewpoint is…
