Paul Simon wrote and performed a song entitled “Wristband.” The song begins rather humorously describing a musician on a break who leaves the venue to smoke and check email. He hears the stage door lock behind him and he realizes that to get back in he has to go the front door. Standing at the door is an imposing security guard checking wristbands that show a patron has previously been admitted and is seeking to return. Simon then sings that if you don’t have a wristband you can’t get through the door. The song switches from humor to a more serious message. The analogy of a wristband providing access to the concert hall extends to a wristband being a symbol of entrance to the benefits of society. The song concludes that those who do not have the symbolic wristband – people without means or privilege – will rise up and seek access to the privileges of the wristband.
I find the message of the song explains why so many men have become so disaffected and have reverted to the toxic manosphere and the politicians who embrace an aggressive compassionless version of masculinity. Many men, especially white non-college educated and under employed black and Hispanic men face life’s challenges with uncertainty and without a wristband. No wonder they feel abandoned by the establishment.
There appears to be two diametrically opposed ways to bring men without a wristband back from helplessness and self-destructive behaviors. One approach, the simpler one, is to radically attack conventional norms with promises of returning to a time of high paying non-skilled jobs, negligible inflation and patriarchy. A false promise reinforced in social media and financed by the social Darwinism believing one per centers. A more difficult and nuanced approach requires reinforcing the worth and dignity of all of us regardless of class, race, gender and wealth. It can be achieved by first acknowledging that technology and the global economy has profoundly shifted the way we work and recreate. Honest recognition is the first step but must be coupled with investments in training those without the wristband for jobs that are purposeful, well-paying and contribute to a more equitable society. A new brand of leadership in government and business is needed to reinforce those values which do not marginalize those without the wristband and are willing to engage in practices that are difficult, short term costly and will take time to take hold. In addition, as I have frequently blogged, the redefining of masculinity that reinforces the best of masculinity which advocates gender equality not gender neutrality.
We should all be eligible to have a wristband and when we have one we will be living in a more just society.