The immediate answer is, of course. Conversely a man can write about femininity. The issue arises when the author, either male or female, attempts to understand what it is to be a man or a woman. This subject attracted my attention in a recent article in the NY Times magazine section which discussed a 20-year-old book written by a woman who decided to explore the male psyche by dressing up as a man and living in that role and pursuing her deception for 18 months. She dated men, joined a bowling team, went to strip clubs and wrote her book. Akin to previous books – Black Like Me, Down and Out in Paris – about disguising oneself in an attempt to understand a different perspective. She found that men are emotionally constricted, lonely and depressed and that her feminist view that men have it easy was disabused by her experiences. I take issue with her certainty that inhabiting the superficial aspects of masculinity can lead to understanding the interior life of men. For example, she wrote about how men while walking down the street viewed her differently when disguised as a man rather than dressed as a woman. As a woman, she felt that men were visually checking her out and making eye contact. In disguise men averted their eyes and seemed to ignore her. Her conclusion, which she attributed to respect, is that men are not scrutinized by other men. She missed the point. A man staring at another man on the street is perceived by men as aggressive and confrontational and is avoided unless the men are actually seeking confrontation.
On one hand her conclusion is in sync with the crisis facing young men and boys which I and others have well documented. However, some of those who relate to her book, many haven’t even read it, have promulgated a social media movement to rationalize a distorted view of masculinity calling for an infusion of masculine energy as poorly defined by the so called “manosphere.” Another reaction to the book’s theme about male emotional constriction is the old trope that boys are taught not to express their emotions which leads to them not understanding their emotional lives. Emotional control does not mean a lack of emotional awareness. It is true that men in fulfilling their role as protectors will mitigate emotional expression in order to best respond to the needs of others. If a first responder started to cry or despair when witnessing a tragic event, it would interfere with his need to take action. That does not mean that at the end of his shift he will not privately cry for the victims. In addition, it appears that currently it is far less of a male taboo about crying when so many athletes and other media figures have cried or expressed extreme distress or joy on camera.
Returning to the initial question can authors write about characters or issues concerning their opposite agenda? Authors should be mindful that no matter how sensitive and aware they might be you cannot fully understand what it is to be a man or a woman if you are not one.