I promised myself that I would not keep blogging about how men in advertisements are made to look inept and often need a female partner to fix or undo their stupidity. However, a recent commercial for candy has caused me to break my promise. Two grinning large men dressed in football gear are sitting next to each other on the sideline each holding a bag of Haribo gummies. Speaking in high pitched baby talk they compare their respective gummies shapes. The coach walks by and gives them a dirty look. They chuckle and stop talking.
I am trying to understand how humiliating tough looking men will encourage someone to buy Haribo candy. My guess is that degrading masculinity is sufficiently funny for consumers to enjoy the idea that even rugged football guys are really infantile.
—————————————————————————————— A recent study reported in the press highlighted the difficulty for men, especially older men, to form friendships. It is important because social connection is crucial to mental health and slowing down cognitive decline. As I have blogged in the past the friendship gap is exacerbated by the decline in organizations that previously served a man’s social needs. American Legion, VFW, Elks, Kiwanis etc. have all seen sharp declines or chapters closing. Cultural changes that tend to isolate men from other men have also had an impact on male friendships. Another source of socialization for men has been joining volunteer fire departments and rescue squads. However, many of these volunteer organizations have been taken over by local governments. Another factor is that modern fathers are expected to take more of a role in child rearing and with spouses often working going to a bar after work for a drink with buddies becomes impossible. In addition to the negative impact on mental and physical health caused by social isolation toxic masculinity has become a quick fix to isolation. Some men have connected virtually with misogynist and patriarchal podcasters in order to find community and pseudo friendship. A far better alternative is to create more structured activities that bring men together in non-competitive environments that facilitate friendship and sharing life’s journey from a male perspective. My participation in men’s work is an essential element in my wellness yet many men are reluctant to seek and participate in men’s groups. The well-established Mankind Project (MKP) has served to foster the best of masculinity but has not attracted enough media attention to significantly increase participation. A new organization, walkingtalkingmen.org has been formed to promote male friendships by peer led hiking groups that stress comradery and enjoying the company of men while avoiding divisive issues like politics. Men also have to learn why women do a better job of making and keeping friends than men and how to translate those findings for enhancing male socialization.