I was re-reading Harvey Mansfield’s book, Manliness, and was intrigued by his dichotomy between public masculinity and private masculinity. He equates public masculinity with what I have defined as gender equality – although for some reason he does not use the term gender equality. His definition of positive public masculinity parallels the feminist movements efforts to make sure that patriarchy is eliminated in the corporate and political worlds. Private masculinity and private femininity are how we inhabit gender specific roles. For men private behavior is the essence of manliness. Masculine qualities such as risk taking, singular focus, the need to protect and provide, when expressed without diminishing the power of women, should be honored and
not neutralized in the quest for gender equality. However, current societal norms seem to equate private manliness, no matter if it is manifest in the light without patriarchy and misogyny, as toxic. Men have reacted either negatively, embracing the darkness of the manosphere, or positively by advocating for the recognition that the boy and man crisis is negatively impacting half our population and the overall economy. Women, due to the success of the feminist movement, have been able to avoid any conflict between public and private femininity. Currently, a woman can go to a club in the evening adorned with makeup and wearing a sexy dress, dance provocatively and the next morning go to work as a partner in a prestigious law firm. She will not be shamed for her behavior and in fact she will be touted as a role model for the new liberated woman. The point being that there is no conflict between her public and private femininity. However, men are vilified and mocked for their private masculinity regardless of how it is expressed and are emasculated in the name of gender equality. I applaud Harvey Mansfield, Richard Reeves, Scott Galloway and other prominent men who are attempting to honor positive private masculinity with the goal of an enlightened public masculinity that does not confuse gender equality with gender neutrality. The Y chromosome is a positive and necessary part of the human story when expressed in the light. Trying to diminish its attributes will only confuse men but also drive them to the dark side of masculinity.